TESTING THE WATER

I haven't blogged for a long time - I guess I kinda lost my way for a while. When I originally set up this blogspace I wanted to write something everyday but that just didn't happen. I got lazy but I think it's about time I dipped my toe into the blogpool once more, so maybe you'll see more of me?



Life doesn't seem to be going anywhere at the moment, it's just stopped, a stagnant pond without so much as even a ripple. I'm feeling a bit stuck. I guess it's good on one hand that I'm not moving, being stuck at least means I'm not plummiting south like I have been known to do in the past but it does get frustrating knowing I'm not going anywhere, not that I have anywhere I want to go as such. Health issues have probably kept me more isolated than normal, but I've been out and about as much as I can. You'd be surprised at some of the things I've been up to latey, but we won't even go there.

Since I last blogged (Back in March - I really should keep this updated more.) I've been writing alittle, something I've always enjoyed but more often than not struggled with. I used to think the written word was one of my strong points, but upon reflection whilst the words may be in the right order in my head, and I know what I want to say, they're scattered on the page in an unshuffled mannor and more often than not riddled with spelling errors. You've possibly already found some in this blog entry - who knows? I think reading my recent work back has just highlighted for me how much of a useless writer I am. Don't get me wrong, I do feel some sense of achievement with my latest work, I'm proud of it. I'll be even more proud of it when Kate has finished editing it for me and banished all those little errors to the recycle bin. More of that in time, I'm sure. I'm just not very organised and lacking in structure when it comes to setting goals for myself.

I've also adopted Lucy, a cat from the RSPCA. I wont rattle on about how adorable she is, because anyone who knows me will have already heard me gushing about how much I adore her and will have had endless photos, videos and feline tales thrust upon them for the past six weeks. Yeah, that's how long she's been here - Where has the time gone? Lucy has been a breath of fresh air for me. She's given me the company I so much needed on those long lonely days and there really isn't a day that goes by where she doesn't make me smile, even the day she dropped a live mouse onto my desk and my screams could be heard in China - we still laughed. (eventually.)

Anyway - I won't keep you, If anyone is still reading that is. Like I said, maybe you'll see more of me in blogland from now on.

SUGAR RUSH

My mother... Have you met my mother? I love her to bits but I am convinced she has lost her marbles. I have two examples today alone. First of all I phoned her this morning to see if she fancied a trip to Tesco. (I needed a lift - she has a car. Simple, or so I thought.) She answered the phone and I propsed my plan, but then she replies with "Who is it?" WHAT?!? What d'ya mean who is it?!?! I think my Mum is terrified of her mobile phone, on the rare occasion she actually takes it out with her she will very seldom answer it, I guess I should have been grateful she answered it at all. The phone got the blame for why she didn't know who it was. *rolls eyes*

We (eventually) made it to Tesco and stocked up on crap we didn't need. A joyous shopping trip all round. I bought enough cinnamon swirls to keep an army happy, the shocking thing is I've eaten them all. FAT BITCH!

As if the sugar rush from earlier wasn't enough, I crossed paths with my Mum again this evening when she rang my doorbell and greeted me with those dreaded words "I've baked a cake." I should have hit the deck there and then and curled up in the foetal position, rocking violently until she eventually gave up waiting for a response and left me alone, but no, I found myself saying the words "Oh lovely" even if I didn't mean them. I say 'cake' but what it was called and what I was actually presented with are two very different things. Some might say cake and mean it but when my mum says cake it could be ANYTHING covered in sugar. When all said and done it was a jar of lemon curd tipped out onto a housebrick. One bite was enough for me. I don't know who will be unfortunate to be offered the next piece but if it is you, and it very well could be... my only advice is RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOUR PORKY LEGS CAN CARRY YOU AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU HIT MEXICO!!!



Don't say I didn't warn you.

HERE I AM

Thought I'd show my face in blogland, guess it's been a while.



Dylan is going through a smacking phase. There I was innocently curled up on the sofa reading Attitude Magazine yesterday when he marched in, all smiles. I thought he was coming to me for a hug but no, *smack* right on the face. Little git! He gave me a good wallop last time he was here too, thinks it's hilarious. I've been told to repremand him tho, coz it's naughty and he does pack a mean punch for a one year old. I didn't, I just laughed. Am I a bad Uncle? The kids are spending more time here, which is nice. There was a dry spell of visits over Thomas-Gate but all seems to be restored now, they're here more than ever.

Woke up this morning feeling really refreshed and ready for the day, then I crawled to the computer and haven't moved since. I think I need to limit my time online, coz I really do spend all day here sometimes. I think earlier nights would be a start? The only reason I turned the computer off before 3am lastnight was because I was soooo pissed off with the amount of crap showing up on it. Guess a de-clutter of some of the freaks wouldn't go a miss either. There are some people on my friends list at the moment that I don't even know. WHY are they there? They never speak to me. Guess I need to get to know them or get rid.

This week is looking pretty blank, event-wise. I need to speak to Wendy about meeting up, I felt really bad cancelling on her last week but sometimes these things just happen. I reckon a good spring clean before visitors start arriving at the end of March wouldn't go a miss either, I've let the place go a bit just lately. The only person who visits me these days is a pot smoking, alcoholic who even I didn't feel the need to bother hoovering and dusting for but when Martin arrives I'd better put out doileys and at least plug in a glade airfreshener. *giggles* Looking forward to a weekend of booze, nibbles and watching those chankles wobble on the dancefloor.

*note to self: clear space to dance.

SAINT DAVID? ERM, OK.

So it's March already? Wow, how time flies. I for one am really glad to see the back of February, it was a truly miserable month for me and I'm looking forward to meeting up with a few people and making up for it in March. Bring on the good times.

I also think I've been spending way too much time online lately. Between Facebook and Twitter it's a wonder I have a life outside the internet at all. I found this 12-step program online, which I am hoping if I stick to, will help.

Facebook: A 12-STEP PROGRAM



1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before Facebook.

2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3. I will get dressed before noon.

4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of Facebook.

5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Facebook-deprived.

6. I will call someone on the phone whom I cannot contact via Facebook.

7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on Facebook.

9. I will not be tempted during TV advert breaks to check for notifications.

10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my chequebook because I was too busy on Facebook.

12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and Facebook will always be there tomorrow!



Yeah, right. *rushes back to the comfort of Facebook to see if anyone has poked me*

♥ Happy Saint David's Day Everyone ♥

ANGELA OF DEATH

I could have died of shame today! (ok, that's probably a bit dramatic.) But I ALMOST DID DIE OF SHAME!!! I ventured out into Wigston for a mooch around the shops and I found myself in Wilkinsons. As anyone who knows me will know I always get spots (my love of chocolate knows no bounds.) so there I was in Wilkinsons choosing some stuff to hopefully help the problem that is my FACE! I bought facial scrub, facial wash, spot consealer and on the way to the till I remembered I needed some glue. (pritt stick.) As the delightful old bag at the till was serving me, slower than any of the other checkout assistants, I might add, she blipped my purchases one by one, seemingly examining everyone as she did and yells out for the rest of the queue forming to hear... "Oh my daughter uses this one, it's very good." Yeah, thanks for attracting even more attention to me Angela, (according to her sparkly name badge, that was her name.) Carry on. Of course then she thought all her christmases had come at once when the last thing she blipped was in fact the pritt stick. "Are things THAT bad?" she said holding the pritt stick up in my face. before cackling like a witch. Talk about over familiarity!!!! Just because you feel the need to tell me your life story doesn't give you the right to enquire about mine. I didn't know where to look. I smiled and probably turned sixteen different shades of red before stuffing my purchases in my bag and running for the hills. If ever there was a good reason for shopping online Angela would be it.



I hate being outside sometimes. (Most of the time.) I hate it when strangers talk to me when I need to get from A to B. Its not that I'm anti-social or rude, it's just I panic alot when I'm out and about, it takes me all my time to focus on what I'm doing and where I need to be going. If people stop to talk to me it brings on this overwhelming sense of panic I feel the need to run away. I have therapy sessions which sometimes cover this kind of stuff, whilst I know what I should do in situations like this, it never quite prepares me for when it actually happens. I feel like such a tit.

YOU HAVE MAIL

As the postman crept silently to the front door, being careful not to make so much as a sound, he carefully slipped the 'we tried to delivery a parcel whilst you were out' note through the letterbox, cautiously manouvering it so its rattle wouldnt alert even the dog, then he crept back up the drive as silently as he came. WHAT A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING BASTARD!! Now thanks to him I had a parcel waiting for me at the local sorting office. I'm not enteriely convinced he even had my parcel in his possession because it's raining and miserable outside so he clearly didn't want the hassle of ringing the doorbell and waiting whilst I signed for it. I've been in all morning so there's no way he tried to deliever anything. Oh the power they hold. Damn them all.

Turns out the package was a box of A4 envelopes. Thats right... envelopes. Hardly worth getting out bed for really, nevermind travelling all the way to the sorting office on foot in the rain!

HAPPINESS / HA! PENIS!

It's been a long time coming but things are finally fabulous again. (ok, maybe I'm speaking too soon - but things are pretty damn good right now.) For the first time in a very long time I feel happy. If I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow I'd have done everything I needed to, said everything that needed saying and would skip off to that 24 hour Tesco in the sky with a smile on my face. Maybe Rodrigo would even come to my funeral now that we're best friends on Twitter n all. HAHAHAHAHAHA no... STOP IT!

Lastnight I spoke to Kev Cheung on the phone properly for the very first time. It REALLY made me happy. It meant so much that he'd taken the time to call me all the way from Singapore, even though it took us ages to figure out the correct dialing code then he'd called the wrong number and spoken to a random woman, he eventually got through and we had a good old giggling session. Thanks again Kev. You're so sweet and it really did make my night. I still can't figure out whether Samuel Simone is a squirrel or a chipmunk though. haha. (He could possibly be a Beaver? lol) Let's go with squirrel!!

This morning I got a card in the post from Danny. It made me smile, because even though he said he'd posted it, I wasn't expecting the adorable little heart stickers he'd stuck inside. (Even that little bastard Marvin got in on the action. haha.)



[Excuse my crappy camera - this is the best I could do.]

From there I ventured into Wigston and I've been out and about since the crack of 'Martin'. You have no idea how good it feels to be me right now. I am seriously on cloud nine. Issue 28 of T. Pig Magazine is on its way to those expecting it and it comes with 'a fabulous free gift'. (or as my Mum said "so that's it?" lol CHEEK!) Those who don't know what it is yet, hopefully you'll be more impressed than my Mother was and you'll think it's as fabulous as Marvin does.

Right, I'm gonna dash coz I'm heading back on board the 'coach trip' I can't even remember where we're heading next. We've just left Seville I think? I have the memory of an elephant. I'd be lost without Brendan. "Right guys... Keep up!" haha.