WITH EVERY HIGH COMES A LOW

I feel like a bit of a failure today. I get like this sometimes and I don't really know why. Obviously I have regrets, who doesn't? But from the regrets comes the feeling of failure. I can't seem to shut my mind off from the Joe situation, however much I try and it doesn't take much to leave me feeling deflated and alone. I miss him so much it still hurts after five months that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I know you probably think that's a stupid thing for anyone to say, that it hurts after all this time, but it does. I'm still struggling to find a purpose in life, and whilst the decorating has been a good distraction, even that has had its moments where I've wanted to scream. After this weekend I think I need to really sort myself out and DO something about my life. Make a list of goals and work towards achieving them, even if it means sacrifices. There's really no point me moaning about things in this blog if I do nothing to actually help change them. Joe always said I'd never change, I'm still the same selfish person he met in 2006, nomatter how many chances I had. Hopefully I can prove him wrong. It's just a shame he won't be around to see it.



You have no idea how tempted I am to break this seal right now. HAHA!