25.6.10

CONFUSED.COM

I thought I'd write another blog/rant. I have news for those who just love to listen to me moan about my life - Nothing exciting though, quite annoying actually. Doctor Powar has upped my meds. This is cause for concern in a way, because usually they only up my medication when I've been down or suicidal, which is understandable, but I had a really good weekend last weekend and went to this appointment with quite a spring in my step. I just can't win with that place. If everythings ok they seem to look for things to make something not ok. Funnily enough I bumped into my old therapist on my way out of the building and I had a long chat/moan with her in the carpark about this. She totally agreed with me and suggested complaining. I've done alot of stuff recently, stuff I wouldnt normally do and if I could do it without the aid of this medication increase then surely the option would be to reduce it not just throw an extra 150mg of pregabalin into the mix? I'm already keeping my local chemist in business singlehanded so WHY give me more? It upset me alittle so I phoned JAM and she seemed quite surprised too, for once we were in agreement about how shit the administration in that place can be. I've been given an extra appointment on Monday to go in and discuss my concerns, so I guess I'll know more then. I just don't get it. WHY give someone more medication when everything is going ok? I know I'm not the happiest person in the world, but things have really changed since last year. This month last year I was in hospital having my stomach pumped after an attempted suicide, I'd self-harmed loads, totally ruined my life and didn't care about anything or anyone. Totally understandable that a Doctor would up medication then, as they did, gave me extra appointments, more meds etc. but its just pissed me off that they've done this when there is no cause for concern. Its like they want me to fail. Maybe I'm being paranoid who knows?

Ive been on my own this week - Its been fabulous. Ive done what I want when I want and as loud as I want. Its been really good not having people around telling me what to do. I'm really missing Joe, got used to him being around alot before he went away and whilst I'm really really happy he's having a cool time, the fact we've not really spoken much has left a gap in my social life. I've seen quite alot of my friends recently so I shouldn't complain really, I do miss our chats though. I wish more people lived closer, alot of the friends I've met online I have to arrange overnight stays when I see them because it's too far to travel there and back in a day. I love having long weekends with them but it'd be nice to have more people closeby to pop round for a quick spur-of-the-moment coffee or something ya know? Even my fuck buddies seem to be moving further afield. I haven't had a decent shag in weeks. (No offence S****. HAHAHA)

9 comments:

  1. Why have they upped your meds?!?! WTF!?!??! Sounds like you need a new doc *with a SMALL D!* who actually knows what they're doing! I agree - COMPLAIN and QUESTION the reasoning! Docs - fucking appalling!

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  2. I agree with Kate.. best of luck Dave <3 you tons

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  3. I have NO IDEA @ why. He didnt believe me when I said "everything was ok" they never do. But I can 100% swear on Lucy's life that everything WAS ok. We'd had a great weekend, there were no problems at all. I'd mentioned a bit of anxiety in town is all, his solution seemed to be double the meds, but like I said and even JAM/JANE had both said, if I can do it without the meds being increased then WHY give me more. If anything its time to reduce them coz I'm still on SHITLOADS of pills. 150mg of Pregabalin more is pointless!

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  4. He must get paid more to prescribe more!! Me, cynical?!?!?! Noooooooooo!!!

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  5. I guess it keeps him in business dishing out pills. He tried to palm me off on his junior doctor in his absence too. He's taking some holiday so my next appointment with him won't be for four months, unless I see his junior. I said NO WAY AM I SEEING ANOTHER NEW DOCTOR!!! So fuck that! I usually have an appointment with the consultant once a month, it'd be two months with the junior or I can wait for him. So my next scheduled appointment is not until October. JAM seemed quite alarmed by this, but I'm not seeing some 'stand in' whilst he fucks off on his jolly boys outing. lol I HATE THAT PLACE! I REALLY DO.

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  6. the last time i remember u saying u needed meds or something like that but they are unavailable .
    Now when u dun need more ; yet they gave extra .
    So ironic ...

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  7. I always think the dr's get a pay-off from prescribing them ....I was on paxil for years. I agree with you 110% regarding your decision...we have to talk we have so much in common ! hugs Aunty C

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  8. Maybe they do get a pay off, but as I don't pay for my meds surely it costs them MORE to give them to me? It must come out of their budget? I dunno. I don't really care who pays for them as long as it's not me. lol Selfish I know, but Meh!

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  9. Outrageous @ can't see your proper doc until October!

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