CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

Panic not - Lucy is alive. (I hope.) *checks* Yup - She is.

I know it's never a good idea to look at people's online profiles, pages of people you have/have had feelings for in the past, some things are better just left alone, even if you are "Just friends" now, sometimes seeing things can bring back jealous feelings or general feelings you don't really need or want. I was pretty bored tonight so I've been taking time to look at people's Facebook pages, some might call it 'stalking' but I'd call it 'showing an interest.' ha. I didn't move anything, I kept off the grass and tidied up when I'd finished so no harm done right? WRONG!!! I rrrrreally wish I'd watched a dvd or something instead coz I had a snoop on someones page (no point naming names.) someone I once had a really strong relationship with and still do care about very much. We shared alot together but things kinda drifted apart/moved on yadda yadda yadda.... anywaaaay.... we'd not spoken for a lifetime and I was reading a few things on his page and saw a photograph of his family. He's got two kids now and he's engaged. I knew he'd had kids but coz we weren't speaking the details were a bit hazey and I didn't really know anything about them, but there they were right infront of me, smiling and looking exactly like him. I'm Gutted. 100% totally winded by the thought of it and what could have been if he hadn't have fucked off. Stupid, I know. I don't think about him very often, but when I do I have this strong feeling about him. There's only really three people in my life I have truly been 100% madly in love with and he was the first.

WHHHYYYYY did I look at his bastard profile?!?!