CHANCE OF A LUNCHTIME

I had lunch with my Mum today. Well, two mouthfuls of it with her anyway, the rest I ate alone. She'd invited me down for something to eat this morning and as I had nothing else planned I thought it'd be nice to spend some time with her so I agreed. We haven't really spent any time together since her birthday so it was long overdue. It's been like St Pancras station here this morning though what with the amount of traffic we've had through the place. It doesn't really affect me though when people visit here because 1) They know they're not welcome in my part of the house and 2) People now know better than to ever visit me without ample warning. (in writing!)

The first sign that the day wouldnt go as planned should have been when I smelt lunch on fire. Had I been more alert I would have just climbed out of the window and ran knowing I'd have to eat the charred remains eventually, but no, I went and saved lunch as "The cook" had got distracted gossiping with a neighbour. As said neighbour finally fucked off and I was serving what could be saved of the lunch the gas man knocked at the door to read the metre. (or so he thought - what he actually got was a brief history of Wigston from the last 100 years from my Mum.) Now not only was lunch burnt, but it was also cold. We sat down and trust me salt & pepper is your friend whenever my Mum cooks so with everything drenched in that we were ready to eat. STOP!! Doorbell. WHAT?? Leave it. No - it might be important. It won't be. It could be. OH ANSWER IT THEN!! And that was that. Lunch was brought to an abrupt end - The kids had arrived. Although my jacket potatoe made a lovely doorstop no amount of salad and bread could make up for that lunch being SHIT so being left to my own devices I binned it and escaped back to my little bubble of cosyness.

*opens a bag of Milkyway Magic stars* I'm STARVING!!