SUGAR RUSH

My mother... Have you met my mother? I love her to bits but I am convinced she has lost her marbles. I have two examples today alone. First of all I phoned her this morning to see if she fancied a trip to Tesco. (I needed a lift - she has a car. Simple, or so I thought.) She answered the phone and I propsed my plan, but then she replies with "Who is it?" WHAT?!? What d'ya mean who is it?!?! I think my Mum is terrified of her mobile phone, on the rare occasion she actually takes it out with her she will very seldom answer it, I guess I should have been grateful she answered it at all. The phone got the blame for why she didn't know who it was. *rolls eyes*

We (eventually) made it to Tesco and stocked up on crap we didn't need. A joyous shopping trip all round. I bought enough cinnamon swirls to keep an army happy, the shocking thing is I've eaten them all. FAT BITCH!

As if the sugar rush from earlier wasn't enough, I crossed paths with my Mum again this evening when she rang my doorbell and greeted me with those dreaded words "I've baked a cake." I should have hit the deck there and then and curled up in the foetal position, rocking violently until she eventually gave up waiting for a response and left me alone, but no, I found myself saying the words "Oh lovely" even if I didn't mean them. I say 'cake' but what it was called and what I was actually presented with are two very different things. Some might say cake and mean it but when my mum says cake it could be ANYTHING covered in sugar. When all said and done it was a jar of lemon curd tipped out onto a housebrick. One bite was enough for me. I don't know who will be unfortunate to be offered the next piece but if it is you, and it very well could be... my only advice is RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOUR PORKY LEGS CAN CARRY YOU AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU HIT MEXICO!!!



Don't say I didn't warn you.

HERE I AM

Thought I'd show my face in blogland, guess it's been a while.



Dylan is going through a smacking phase. There I was innocently curled up on the sofa reading Attitude Magazine yesterday when he marched in, all smiles. I thought he was coming to me for a hug but no, *smack* right on the face. Little git! He gave me a good wallop last time he was here too, thinks it's hilarious. I've been told to repremand him tho, coz it's naughty and he does pack a mean punch for a one year old. I didn't, I just laughed. Am I a bad Uncle? The kids are spending more time here, which is nice. There was a dry spell of visits over Thomas-Gate but all seems to be restored now, they're here more than ever.

Woke up this morning feeling really refreshed and ready for the day, then I crawled to the computer and haven't moved since. I think I need to limit my time online, coz I really do spend all day here sometimes. I think earlier nights would be a start? The only reason I turned the computer off before 3am lastnight was because I was soooo pissed off with the amount of crap showing up on it. Guess a de-clutter of some of the freaks wouldn't go a miss either. There are some people on my friends list at the moment that I don't even know. WHY are they there? They never speak to me. Guess I need to get to know them or get rid.

This week is looking pretty blank, event-wise. I need to speak to Wendy about meeting up, I felt really bad cancelling on her last week but sometimes these things just happen. I reckon a good spring clean before visitors start arriving at the end of March wouldn't go a miss either, I've let the place go a bit just lately. The only person who visits me these days is a pot smoking, alcoholic who even I didn't feel the need to bother hoovering and dusting for but when Martin arrives I'd better put out doileys and at least plug in a glade airfreshener. *giggles* Looking forward to a weekend of booze, nibbles and watching those chankles wobble on the dancefloor.

*note to self: clear space to dance.

SAINT DAVID? ERM, OK.

So it's March already? Wow, how time flies. I for one am really glad to see the back of February, it was a truly miserable month for me and I'm looking forward to meeting up with a few people and making up for it in March. Bring on the good times.

I also think I've been spending way too much time online lately. Between Facebook and Twitter it's a wonder I have a life outside the internet at all. I found this 12-step program online, which I am hoping if I stick to, will help.

Facebook: A 12-STEP PROGRAM



1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before Facebook.

2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3. I will get dressed before noon.

4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of Facebook.

5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Facebook-deprived.

6. I will call someone on the phone whom I cannot contact via Facebook.

7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on Facebook.

9. I will not be tempted during TV advert breaks to check for notifications.

10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my chequebook because I was too busy on Facebook.

12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and Facebook will always be there tomorrow!



Yeah, right. *rushes back to the comfort of Facebook to see if anyone has poked me*

♥ Happy Saint David's Day Everyone ♥